


With You I'll Stay As You Allow Me To Remain

by Red_Cross_Roads (Scarlet_Nin)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Allen wants to fight them, But he cares like our Allen does, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Kind of Red!Allen, Mana has nightmares, Nightmares, Parent-Child Relationship, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 13:58:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Nin/pseuds/Red_Cross_Roads
Summary: Mana's suffering from nightmares. Allen decides to do something about it, because the man's misery is contagious.
Relationships: Allen Walker & Mana Walker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	With You I'll Stay As You Allow Me To Remain

Nightmares are a common occurrence. A constant companion of Mana’s much like Red—_Allen_, he’s _Allen_ now, he reminds himself, hoping it will stick soon—himself is. Every other night ends up with Mana whimpering and crying. Stricken beyond belief from something that isn’t even real or at least nothing but a mere memory.

It pisses Allen off.

Like a bad reminder of the time he spent in that hellhole of a circus, he finds himself scowling and frowning more often as days pass. He recalls going out at night to catch the man sitting by himself in the cold, curled into a ball so small and full of misery even Red couldn’t help the tug of pity inside his chest.

Unlike then, he can’t justify ignoring the obvious anguish of the man with the excuse of him being a stranger.

As convenient as it would have been to be in denial, Allen isn’t a liar, no matter what that Bastard Cosimo insisted upon, so there’s no point in denying the inevitable. Seeing Mana upset makes his insides twist into a tangled heap which makes him lose all appetite.

Allen loved eating more than anything, yet remembering Mana’s shaking, the wideness of his eyes, the haunted expression on his white face turns his stomach inside out and he finds the thought of eating whatever they decided to eat on that day revolting.

He blames it all on Mana’s weirdness. The way he smiles like a lunatic most days, trying to think of new tricks to practice and babbling on about things Allen pretends to listen to even if he understands nothing of what is said. How he would try to keep his hold on Allen’s hand, ignoring the bristling and the curses while swinging their joined hands with the joy of a kid on Christmas morning. It was all so irritating, Mana’s patience, the kind words he had to spare for everybody. But the man took him in despite the rough edges and foul language he so dislikes and Allen still finds it hard to believe he’d gotten to tag along at all, much less to find the man trying to take care of him.

So, it’s unacceptable for Mana to be sad and try to hide it when Allen can do something about it.

“You can’t stay up all night long, Allen!”

“Watch me.” Allen says with a snarl, because even half blind, the dark circles underneath Mana’s eyes would have been visible like bright bold letters written across his forehead. Not a stranger of exhaustion, Allen doubts he’s ever felt tired like Mana had these past few days.

“It’s not healthy.” Mana chides, voice soft and in the dim-light of their fire, he looks so old. Wrinkles prominent in his face, lips pursed into a weak parody of a half-assed smile, he looks into the fire with unseeing eyes.

“It’s not like I could sleep with all the ruckus ya make while yer sleep.”

Allen wrinkles his nose, giving the man a dirty look as he crosses one arm over his chest. Mana blinks, startled if the sudden alertness of his gaze means anything and he actually turns to look at Allen now, instead of dozing off inside that head of his.

“Pardon?”

“Don’t act all innocent,” Allen glares, because the ache in his chest burns when he thinks back to the tremors wrecking Mana’s body in the night and how long it had taken him to calm down after shaking him awake. He’s no fan of waking up to terrified screams.

“You’re havin’ trouble sleeping. With all your turning and yelling it’s not like I can sleep either, so I might as well be useful if I have to stay up all night.”

He expects Mana to brush the issues off with a joke, to say it’s no problem, silly Allen, he’s being harassed by bed bugs lately, he has no reason to worry but it’s cute he does in that cooing voice of his, which never fails to make Allen flush to the shade of his hair as he hurls one insult after another at the man for daring to embarrass him.

The reaction he anticipates isn’t the one he gets.

Mana laughs, a sudden sound full of amusement and warmth, and it makes the shadows disappear on his face like sunlight chasing away rainy clouds. Shoulders shaking and eyes twinkling as his lips quirk up Allen gapes for a moment, speechless at the turns of events before he explodes.

“What the hell is so funny, stupid Clown!? Are ya laughing at me?”

Jaw and fist clenching as his heart sinks to the bottom of his ribs, heavy as lead and dropping like a stone, he glowers at the man sitting opposite to him.

_Stupid! So, stupid. I should’ve known caring would bring me nothing._

“Stop laughing! It ain’t funny!”

He’s ready to throw a rock at the man, when he stops and gets his chuckling under control. Mana directs a soft gaze at him and the smile spreading across his face is genuine and gentle.

The suffocating rage crawling up his neck fizzles out like a matchstick fire in the downpouring rain, leaving behind the smell of burnt wood and smoke drifting off into the air. Wavering in the face of such a loving expression, Allen twists his face into a scowl, kicking out at the burning wood of their fire place.

“I wasn’t laughing at you, Allen.”

“Huh uh.” Giving the man the cold shoulder, he mourns the absence of a stick for poking the flames.

“But I wasn’t!”

Mana insists and Allen may be stubborn, but Mana’s persistence combined with his begging was on a whole other level of thick-headedness. Knowing when to cut his losses, but still sulking Allen squints at the man from beneath his bangs.

Seeing he’s caught Allen’s attention, Mana perks up on his seat, arms resting on his knees, he leans forward, his face gaining a healthy dose of color from the glow of the fire. It brings out the gold in his eyes, another one of Mana’s odd features, and instead of shrinking away from the tall figure looming over him or pushing out his shoulders to seem bigger, Allen sighs, raising a brow to complete his picture of a reluctant listener and leans back.

“What?”

He asks, when the silence continues to drag on. Mana’s habit of staring isn’t as creepy as it used to be but still unusual enough to make him squirm and dig his heels into the floor.

“Nothing! It’s just…I’m happy you care so much.”

Continuing, like Allen isn’t spluttering on his protests, Mana hums, eyes crinkling at the corners as he slaps a hand over his heart.

“Allen used to snap at me quite a lot, always so mean and grouchy, but now you’re being so kind to me, worrying over me it truly warms my heart! I’m so happy I could cry.”

“Don’t even start with that!”

Allen makes a face, because Mana’s dramatic antics are a sign, he’s feeling better, but it’s late and having to deal with them when he knows there’s a good chance Mana could be crying later sets his nerves on edge.

“Listen, if I stay up, I can wake you if you start getting uncomfortable sleeping. There’s not much else I can do to get you to sleep better.”

Mana gives the idea some thought, scratching at his chin and Allen knows from the gesture alone, the man is only doing it to humor him. He ends up being right when Mana shakes his head.

“Thank you for your kind offer, but I couldn’t possible accept this generosity my boy. If you watch over me while I sleep, you’ll not get the sleep you need to grow.”

_Oh, bloody hell—_

“Well, what am I supposed to do then!? Either you sleep or I won’t.”

He regrets those words leaving his mouth as soon as they’re out because Mana snaps his fingers, grin stretching from ear to ear like he’s got the best idea and Allen knows from last time, the next thing Mana will suggest is going to be utter nonsense.

He’s still holding a grudge over the man forcing him into that stupid clown costume and forcing him onto the walking globe for a show. Falling from that height had _hurt_.

“Allen could sing me a lullaby!”

“No way.” Short and merciless, he rejects the idea without batting an eye. Not to mention there might be a chance he’ll end up crying if Mana gets him to hum that familiar melody, he’d taught him. Which would happen over Allen’s dead body.

Head falling at the harsh refusal Mana sighs. “I guess you’re still too shy, but we’ll work on that. I’m afraid then there’s nothing you can do.”

_Bullshit. _Allen thinks, but doesn’t say. There must be something he can do! If he has to take another day of Mana clinging to his blanket like a scared child afraid of the horrors of the dark, he’ll end up pulling out all his hair or he’ll starve to death at this rate.

He’s come too far to give up, so he tries to come up with a way to get Mana to sleep.

Absently rubbing at his eyes, he watches Mana put out the fire to get them ready for their beds. They’re camping inside an abandoned run-down house which is more of a ruin than an actual house with the half-broken roof, but it shields them from the cold and keeps what little warmth they manage to create inside long enough for them to fall asleep comfortably.

Throwing the man, who rolls out their sleeping matts with care a glance, Allen chews on his bottom lip.

“It’s time for bed, Allen~.”

“Alright, stop nagging me already.”

Standing up, Allen kicks of his shoes and pulls off his jacket. The rustling of clothing tells him Mana’s doing the same, of course, neater and actually folding his clothes to put them aside. Risking another glance between his sleeping matt and Mana’s, Allen comes to a decision.

_Oh, to hell with this._

Reaching down to lift his sleeping matt, he drags it over to Mana’s, dumping it right beside him before getting his blanket. The stare drilling into his skull is uncomfortable and makes his ears burn. Sitting down on his matt to arrange his blanket, he pulls it up to his shoulder and rolls onto his side, daring the man to comment with a sharp look thrown over his shoulder, he waits for Mana to settle down next to him.

“Isn’t this a nice surprise—”

“Don’t make this weird!”

Allen bursts out as Mana lays down next to him, his shoulder and side brushing against Allen’s back and he knows he’ll regret this in the morning because Mana seems like a person who cuddles like a leech but if this gets him a night of undisturbed sleep it’s going to be worth the mortification. Trying to relax now that Mana’s laying down next to him, knowing he wouldn’t have been sent away hadn’t put a rest to the feeling of anxiety crawling up his spine, Allen closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep.

“If you roll on top of me, I’ll suffocate ya with a pillow.”

“Of course,” Mana’s hushed voice is soothing in the night. The smell of burnt wood, smoke and paint helping him get comfortable in the chilly room. The heat the man emits like a furnace helps to keep himself warm and cozy. “Sweet dreams, Allen.”

“Night.” He mumbles, feeling the edges of sleep drawing him in. He hears Mana’s steady breathing, feels the phantom caress of a hand stroking his hair and the gentle hum of a melody and lets himself fall into embrace of sleep.

The next morning, he wakes up to Mana’s quiet snoring, an arm thrown over his waist resting on his back with his cheek pressed to the man’s clothed chest, his head carefully tugged underneath the man’s chin. It’s a lose but comfortable embrace Allen hesitates to pull himself out of. He decides to let Mana sleep a few extra minutes and denies any snuggling having taken place with vigor.

Mana’s nightmares don’t stop, but they do lessen, so Allen keeps their sleeping arrangement and is thankful for what rest Mana manages to get during the night.

At least, he can enjoy his food again, now that Mana’s nightmares have become manageable.

**Author's Note:**

> Mana: [sad and fragile marshmallow with nightmares]  
Allen: Alright, back the fuck up (ง •̀_•́)ง You ain't hurting my whatever the hell we are.


End file.
